I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
