i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
