btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize