guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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