I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
