She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize