i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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