i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
