I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
