All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
