she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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