He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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