Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
