There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize