I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
