so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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