But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
