is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You smell like stripper and shame
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
