she kept yelling 'call me bella'
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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