Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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