Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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