Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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