I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
