Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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