I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize