My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
