She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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