Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm both gender and math confused
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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