You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
