She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize