Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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