Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
