is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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