I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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