She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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