My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
