How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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