Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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