do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
