I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
