Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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