im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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