Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
