He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
