So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
