she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i drank out of a bidet.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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