R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i was born a porn star she said
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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