I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize