and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
