If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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