wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he shaved USA in his pubs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize