Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
