when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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