he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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