my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
