Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
