he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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