oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
