We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
