What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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