i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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