so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
