Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
