Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Randomize
