The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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