THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
