we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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