i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
