the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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