remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
