it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
