a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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