I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
