after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
