remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
