Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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