It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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