My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
