I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
