I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
