He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't deserve a penis
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
