Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
