I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
